From The Grave
THE MADDEST STORY EVER TOLD
Spider Baby (1968) definitely fits into that mold of midnite movie classic. A film that had its share of setbacks, including producers bankruptcy, and bad marketing, yet Jack Hill’s mini masterpiece has fought its way back and managed to find enough loyal viewers to keep it alive, even in the digital age. Hell, it was even shown on Turner Movie Classics! That, my friend is a high honor indeed, especially knowing the inauspicious beginnings of this great black comedy of inbred family and their cannibal ways.
The movie begins with a man sitting in front of the camera speaking about a strange disease that has affected Merreye family. Through many years of inbreeding, the Merreye disease strikes a person just as they are becoming an early teenager. At that moment the person regresses back to childhood, and of course, showing signs of violent madness.
The movie opens with a messenger bringing the family important news. He delivers the telegram informing Bruno that cousin Emily (Carol Ohmart) and Peter (Quinn Redeker), along with their lawyer and his assistant, are arriving to discuss the care of the siblings. The messenger should have turned around and not delivered the message. His fate was sealed when he tried to get inside the house through an open window and the window fell on top of his back, trapping him. Needless to say, Virginia had a good time with the messenger, referring to him as a big, fat bug, and she was the spider, ready to give him a sting. Bruno was not happy at all, and chastises Elizabeth, for allowing Virginia to murder the messenger.
The siblings clean the house and are told they have to keep some secrets. In the meantime, Bruno dumps the body of the messenger down the cellar, where Uncle Ned, and aunts Clara and Martha, is kept.
Emily and Peter arrive. Peter has second thoughts about bothering the family, but Emily is thinking there’s more to the family, their money, in spite of the rusty gate and run down mansion. While checking the house out, Emily got a dose of weird, when she met Ralph. Bruno is questioned by the lawyer. Bruno admits that the children “are as well as can be expected, but they aren’t normal children---they are---how do you say….retarded?” The Lawyer replies: “I should say so! Not a day of school!” The Lawyer tells Bruno that some things would need to change, especially when it comes to the care of the children.
After a bit of small talk it is decided that Emily, Peter, their Lawyer and his assistant would stay the night. Ralph catches and kills a cat, which is served for dinner as well as insects, mushrooms and weeds as garden salad. Peter and the Lawyer’s assistant decide to look for hotel rooms.
Things get progressively weirder as the audience sees the children kiss their father goodnight, a skeleton lying in a bed, and Bruno has to make an errand. The lawyer sneaks around, seeing what the children’s living quarters are like, rats, spiders and an owl in a few of the rooms. Cousin Emily gets dressed for bed and discovers some lingerie in a closet. Unbeknownst to her, Ralph had been watching from outside the whole time. And the Lawyer notices the ear of the delivery man that Virginia had lopped off earlier in the film, kept in a jewelry box.
“...you really can’t tell that this was a low budget film...”
The Lawyer finds a secret passage to the cellar. Hands reach up and grab the Lawyer by his legs. He pulls away just as Virginia and Elizabeth walk in. They kill the Lawyer with knives and a pitchfork. Bruno comes back to lock the place up. Heading to bed, the dumbwaiter lifts up, carrying the body of the Lawyer. Bruno is not pleased. But he tells the girls that he made a promise to not let anyone take them from him, and that “You can’t hurt all of those who want to take you away…there’s be too many.”
One of the funniest scenes is when the girls are trying to put a puzzle together. Elizabeth tears the corners so they’ll fit and Virginia likes to stab the pieces. A spider crawls out from under some books and Virginia snitches it up and gobbles it down. Elizabeth scoffs, “Eww…. Spiders aren’t supposed to eat each other.” Virginia replies, “Cannibal spiders do.” It’s that kind of absurdism that makes the movie work. Not only that, you really can’t tell that this was a low budget film, other than the scenes rarely move outside of the house. This could be Jack Hill’s most solid film. The acting is very good, the camera work is more than competent, and the story is somewhat whimsical (a man trying to protect another man’s family because of a promise.) it just happens the entire family is made up of lunatics.
The film was shot in 1964. Due to the producer’s bankruptcy, it wasn’t released until 1968. It suffered from poor marketing by having several different titles such as the liver eaters, or the maddest story ever told or cannibal orgy. Somehow, the film has lived on, thanks to midnite showings in the 70’s and video in the 80’s. In 2004, there was a stage adaption and has been produced off and on throughout the years. Of course, like everything else in Hollywood now, there’s talk of remakes.
In 1999, there was a laser disc version of the film, and in 2007, Dark Sky released a DVD version with Hill’s director’s cut and commentary from Hill and Sid Haig.
Mark Slade, HMS
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