Vampires are definitely my favorite monster. There is so much you can do with them. From the great classics came many off shoots of the book Dracula and its adaptions. The silent film Nosferatu, the English and Spanish version of Dracula. The 1950’s brought the Hammer versions, Horror of Dracula, that spawned many sequels in the 1960’s and 70’s as well as films The Vampire Lovers and Vampire Circus. In the 80’s there was the fun and sometimes horrific Lost boys, Fright Night, and of course Near Dark
In this article we journey to the heart of Transylvania with Jack Macgowan, Sharon Tate, and director Roman Polanski (Rosemary’s Baby, China town, The Tenant, Ninth gate) to take a class called Vampire Hunting 101.The Fearless Vampire Killers (or "Pardon me, my teeth are in your neck" aka "Dance of the Vampires" from 1967). Professor Abronsius (Jack Macgowan, The Quiet Man, Wonderwall, and The Exorcist) was recently thrown out of his position at the University of Königsberg for pointing out his belief that vampires do exist. So he and his assistant Alfred (Polanski) set out to prove their theory.
They end up in a Tavern/boarding house where the superstitious locals are afraid of the night, wolves attack for no good reason except they are hungry all the time. So they hang garlic all over the place. Tavern owner Yoine Shagal (Alfie Bass—Alfie, Are you being served) is a horny little guy that approaches his Tavern Maid a little tumble, and chastises, then spanks his daughter Sarah(Sharon Tate) for taking too many baths. Alfred is love struck with Sarah. Lots of slapstick events ensue, especially the part where Yoine has left his wife and bed to pursue the Tavern Maid. When she notices he’s gone, she decides to follow him and give him a good wallop with sausage. She thinks she sees Yoine coming from the upstairs bedroom of the Tavern Maid and bludgeons him with sausage, only to find out it was Professor Abronsius. The next day a “revolting” hunchback enters the tavern to buy supplies. Everyone (including the Tavern Maid) is frightened of him. This is where the Professor interrogates the locals on scenery (A castle? A count? A bat problem?) He becomes suspicious that a vampire is in the village’s midst when a local accidently spills it there is a castle owned by Count Krolock, not to mention garlic hanging from rafters of the tavern.
A romance of some sort develops between Alfred and Sarah. He lets her use his bath for one of her daily rituals and they make googly eyes at each other, while Alfred stutters and grunts his way through their conversation. It leads to one of the key scenes of the film. The ostentatious entrance of Count Krolock. Through a window hatch, the count dangles his feet, quick shot of Sarah feel snow drops on her face, back to the count’s legs levitating down to her. Another quick shot of the count feeding off Sarah and cut again to Alfred looking through the keyhole. Alfred turns to the camera and sticks out his tongue with an “Eeek!”
After the Count takes Sarah, the Vampire Hunters head to the castle to rescue her. Another great scene from the film is when we meet the Count’s Son. When Alfred has left the Professor stuck in a window, he thinks he hears Sarah singing and her running a bath. It turns out it’s the Count’s son, preparing for a Vampire’s ball. He makes Alfred sit next to him on the bed, during a conversation about balls, Alfred looks in a mirror and realizes the Count’s son has no reflection. The Count’s son discovers on Alfred’s person a book that teaches dating skills. Reading an entry from the book: “The 70th way. Place the left arm around the shoulders of a loved one. Put the left hand on the shoulder of the loved one like a little birdy on a branch. Good, excellent. Now let an angel pass. Shall we allow an angel pass? Once the angel has passed, bend the face of a loved one and brush them with the littlest...”
The Count’s son shows Alfred how he would kiss him. The ending to the movie is a lot like a punchline to a joke. I’m pretty sure Polanski wanted people to mistakenly go to this movie believing it was a Hammer film. It has the look and feel of a Hammer film, but with tons of biting satire on the genre. When MGM got the rough cut of the film, they hated the original version and had their in house editor recut it. They also changed the title from Dance of the Vampire to Fearless vampire killers. When editing the film, they added more slapstick sound effects. Who knows what the actual intent of Polanski was? Maybe less slapstick and more horror? To me, the film is just fine. It all blends perfectly.
One of the best things about the film is the musical score by Krzysztof Komeda. It’s haunting and at times, punctuates the jokes. Of course we all know what was to come after this film. Polanski and Tate married. Polanski went on to have a huge hit with Rosemary’s Baby and a terrible crime was committed against Tate and her unborn child by the Manson family. A few years later, Polanski had big success with Chinatown. A few years more, Polanski’s career is sidetracked by rape charges. His career was never the same (in spite of winning an Oscar years later) he’s never allowed to set foot in the U.S. ever again for fleeing his trial.
This is not just an enjoyable film, but masterfully made by all involved (even those who tinkered with it). It was given a DVD release in 2004. On the special features, checkout the short film made to promote the film, VAMIRE HUNTING 101. It’s just as funny as the film.
Mark Slade, HMS
Read the previous installment.