From The Grave
HITCHIN’ A RIDE THROUGH NIGHTMARES
Some TV shows deserve to fall through the cracks and stay in the void. Some deserve to be rescued. The hitchhiker (1983-1990) deserves such comeuppance. It’s a show that most have forgotten.
That’s a shame, since it predated anthology show run in TV land by a year (TWILIGHT ZONE, TALES FROM THE DARKSIDE, AMAZING STORIES, MONSTERS and FRIDAY THE 13TH THE SERIES.). It was HBO’s first dramatic series and there are times the years have not been kind. Nothing wrong with celebrating your past, sometimes it brings smiles, sometimes it makes you cringe. Looking back at the hairstyles, the clothing, the music from this show was fun. Cringing slightly is the awkward sex scenes. The thought that any woman would jump into bed with any man at the drop of a hat is Ludacris and childish. And guess what? HBO still has that featured on most of their shows. That, my friend, is the only bitch I have with The Hitchhiker. It was a great idea and most of the episodes are crafted well. Even when the show moved to USA its last two years, the show was still pretty good. First season only consisted of three episodes, and for some unknown reason, Nicholos Baker played the Hitchhiker, was replaced in its second season with Page Fletcher. I will say this though; Fletcher makes a creepier and better Hitchhiker - just the way he pauses in between sentences, words that put the final touch on his narrations. I always liked the way they found a way to incorporate him into the story by hitching a ride with characters, walking the streets, or witnessing events. This show was a Canadian/U.S. production and from the looks of it had many producers coming and going. The amount of acting talent crossing into these little nightmares is insane. Here is my top ten. I mostly pulled from 4 seasons, but it ran for six.
SEASON 2 EP. 2
Remembering Melody
27 Nov. 1984
Self-centered yuppie attorney Ted Miller is reunited with Melody, a former old flame and college roommate who still firmly clings to her 60's hippie ideals. Ted allows the jobless and destitute Melody to spend the night at his apartment, but things soon fall apart when Melody realizes that Ted has sold out his youthful beliefs in favor of greed, success, and shallow materialism.
Obviously the best episode of the run, David Dukes turns in a very strong performance. This was based on a short story by George R. R. Martin, who wrote quite a bit of horror before he wrote the Game of Thrones.
SEASON 1 EP. 3
Split Decision
27 Nov. 1984
Desperate and down on his luck real estate salesman Jake McElhaney is in danger of losing his job. Jake thinks he's hit the jackpot when he secures a choice gig selling the home of beautiful identical twin sisters Frances and Priscilla Packard. However, Jake eventually finds out that the lovely siblings have an unusual way of sharing things that include the men in their lives.
This nasty little film stars sisters Audrey and Judy Landers as Twins who take their love and obsessions too far. Jackson Davies turn as Jake the sleazy realtor is hilarious and awkward. The ending alone raises this episode to number 2.
SEASON 2 EP 1
Lovesounds
13 Nov. 1984
Arrogant and exacting classical music composer Kurt Hoffman neglects his lovely young wife Veronica. The sad and unloved Veronica has an extramarital fling with Eric Dunlap, who's the hunky young electronics whiz who has installed a state of the art sound system in Kurt's lavish secluded lakeside home. Kurt goes off the murderous deep end after he finds out about Veronica and Eric's affair.
Starring the great Klaus Kinski as the Maestro himself and seeing the (back in those days) state of the art stereo system was enough to place this episode at number 3. Kinski always gave a tense performance and never wavered, especially if he was the bad guy. Another actor who can play crazy well because…..well, he was CRAZY!
SEASON 3 EP 7
O.D. Feelin'
28 Jan. 1986
The various unlucky owners of a strange bag of cocaine are followed over the course of a night: starring Sandra Bernhadt and Micheal Des Barres, Joe Flaherty (SCTV and Freaks N Geeks, all around comic genius.) and Gene Simmons of Kiss. One thing is certain; entertainment from the 80’s loved to flaunt cocaine use almost as much as they liked to talk about it. The audience is never sure Bernhardt’s character is a man or a woman, just a freak who liked to strut while wielding a walking stick. Everyone who comes in contact takes the powdery white stuff has a very bitter ending; a damn fine episode and a unique story to boot.
SEASON 1 EP. 1
Shattered Vows
23 Nov. 1983
Handsome and ambitious young man Jeff Boder marries the wealthy and much older Jackie Winslow for her considerable fortune. Jeff falls under the enticing spell of Jackie's bitchy and cynical stepdaughter Pamela. Jeff finds a way to bump off Jackie using a mysterious statuette given to him by his grandmother so both he and Pamela can inherit her money. However, things don't ultimately work out as planned in the long run.
Bruce Greenwood stars in the pilot episode. A nice, tight little story, where the synopsis above forgets to mention the folk-art statue Greenwood’s Grandmother gives him plays an important plot point and explains the ending.
SEASON 3 EP. 4
W.G.O.D.
26 Nov. 1985
Reverend Nolan Powers is a fire and brimstone evangelist who has achieved tremendous fame, wealth, and power from his radio program that's broadcast on a national basis from his station WGOD. A team of TV journalists do a story on Powers and his increasing popularity with the masses. However, a long-suppressed shameful secret from his dark family past threatens to destroy Powers and his current high profile status: Starring Gary Busey and Geraldine Page - another great episode with a strong cast and strong performances. For years I always thought this was an episode of Tales from the Crypt. Goes to show how memory can fail a person. Busey and Page make for a very real Mother and Son, showing all of their love, affection, disappointment, and hate, in one scene, no doubt. Gary Busey is electric in this piece. Pay attention to his speech at a Pro-Life rally. If you need a speech given on any subject, anywhere, anytime, call Gary Busey. He will enlighten the masses.
"It was HBO’s first dramatic series and there are times the years have not been kind."
SEASON 2 Ep. 6
Ghostwriter
7 Jan. 1986
Struggling writer Jeffrey Hunt fakes his own death in order to achieve literary immortality. His unfaithful wife Debby has been having an adulterous affair with Jeffrey's publicist and best friend Tony Lynch. Debby and Tony try to make Jeffrey's staged death real, but the plan backfires: starring Willem Defoe as Jeffery, Barry Bostwick as Tony, M. Emmett Walsh as the Police Detective and Dayle Haddon as Debby. Not the strongest episode, but to see a young Willem Defoe play off Barry Bostwick is worth a watch. This episode definitely has a more Hitchcock influence than most.
SEASON 2 EP. 3
Face to Face
4 Dec. 1984
Homely and desperate transsexual Nina Russell hires prominent, but sleazy and arrogant plastic surgeon Dr. Christopher Hamilton to create a more alluring and attractive face for her. Everything goes wrong when Hamilton performs surgery still under the influence of cocaine. Nina’s face is destroyed, and Hamilton gets to fly off to Paris to meet some friends: starring Robert Vaughn as Hamilton, Sonja Smits as Nina, and Sybil Danning as Gloria. Again, Hitchcock influence is there, but so is Brian De Palma, especially the type of story chosen for this episode.
SEASON 4 EP. 9
Made for Each Other
14 Apr. 1987
Loud, arrogant, and obnoxious criminal Trout feels a strong kinship with and develops an immediate affinity for nerdy, mild-mannered, and soft-spoken serial killer Wax. However, the close bond between these two radically contrasting lunatics falls apart after the pair pick up a brash prostitute. This is one hell of an episode. Bill Paxton as Trout turns out one of the best performances in the show’s run and equally great is Bud Cort as Wax is chilling. Jonelle Allen plays the prostitute Sunny, providing another dynamic to a story full of comedy and tension.
SEASON 4 EP. 10
Joker
21 Apr. 1987
Deranged Peter relentlessly stalks and terrorizes Teresa; a lovely young lady who Peter thinks is his ex-wife Melissa. Peter frightens Teresa out of her wits by playing a series of cruel jokes on her. Timothy Bottoms not only gives one of the best performances of his career, but I see plot points and scenes that may have directly influenced movies such as One hour photo and Seven. Bottoms is one whacked out bastard terrorizing fashion designer Teresa, played by 90’s working actress Kelly Lynch, who by the way is perfect casting, showing how hard it is to get on with your life with a stalker at every corner. This is a great story, acting, and definitely directing.
Now according to Wikipedia: The Hitchhiker served as a starting point for many actors, some of whom would go on to gain greater recognition elsewhere. Notable cast members (in alphabetical order):
Kirstie Alley: Angelica in "Out of the Night" (1985), Jane L. in "The Legendary Billy B." (1987)
Sandra Bernhard: Rat in "O.D. Feelin" (1986)
Rachel Blanchard: Karen O'Neill in "Riding the Nightmare" (1990)
Karen Black: Kay in "Hired Help" (1985)
Susan Blakely: Melody in "Remembering Melody" (1984)
Timothy Bottoms: Peter in "Joker" (1987)
Gary Busey: Reverend Nolan Powers in "W.G.O.D." (1985)
Robert Carradine: Frank in "Garter Belt" (1989)
Peter Coyote: Alex in "Last Scene" (1985)
Willem Dafoe: Jeffrey Hunt in "Ghostwriter" (1985)
Joe Dallesandro: Julien in "Fashion Exchange" (1988)
Michael Des Barres: The Wise Man in "O.D. Feelin;" (1986)
Brad Dourif: Billy B. in "The Legendary Billy B." (1987)
Louise Fletcher: Mother Birch in "Offspring" (1991)
Zach Galligan: Dick Raskin in "Toxic Shock" (1990)
John Glover: Miles Duchet in "Striptease" (1989)
Elliott Gould: Augie Benson in "A Whole New You" (1990)
Erin Gray: Leslie in "Together Forever" (1989)
Bruce Greenwood: Jeff Boder in "Shattered Vows" (1983)
Antony Hamilton: Jim Buckley in "Man of Her Dreams" (1986)
Jill Hennessy: Marla Cross in "Striptease" (1989), Elisabeth in "Pawns" (1989)
C. Thomas Howell: Gerald Brumner in "White Slaves" (1990)
Helen Hunt: Donette in "Why are You Here?" (1987)
Lauren Hutton: Tess O'Neill in "Riding the Nightmare" (1987)
Claude Jade: Monique in "Windows" (1990)
Margot Kidder: Janie in "Nightshift" (1986)
Klaus Kinski: Kurt Hoffmann in "Love Sounds" (1985)
Lorenzo Lamas: Tom Astor in "Trust Me" (1990)
Kelly Lynch: Theresa/Melissa in "Joker" (1987)
Michael Madsen: John Hampton in "The Man at the Window" (1985)
Virginia Madsen: Christina in "Perfect Order" (1987)
Darren McGavin: Old Man in "Nightshift" (1986)
Belinda Montgomery: Carla Magnuson in "The Man at the Window" (1985)
Carrie-Anne Moss: Lookalike in "My Enemy" (1989)
Ornella Muti: Sister Teresa in "True Believer" (1987)
Franco Nero: Dr. Peter Milne in "Murderous Feelings" (1985)
Jerry Orbach: Cameron in "Cabin Fever" (1987)
Geraldine Page: Lynette in "W.G.O.D." (1985)
Joe Pantoliano: Brother Charles in "The Miracle of Alice Ames" (1988)
Bill Paxton: Trout in "Made for Each Other" (1987)
James Remar: Ron in "Homebodies" (1987)
Michael Schoeffling: Lance in "Dead Man's Curve" (1986)
Gene Simmons: Mr. Big in "O.D. Feelin" (1986)
Tom Skerritt: Detective in "True Believer" (1985)
Alan Thicke: Mickey Black in "Tough Guys Don't Whine" (1990)
Shannon Tweed: Barbara in "Videodate" (1984)
Dr. Rita de Roy in "Doctor's Orders" (1987)
Robert Vaughn: Dr. Christopher Hamilton in "Face to Face" (1984)
Fred Ward: Luther Redman in "Dead Heat" (1987)
Alberta Watson: Jill Friedlander in "Remembering Melody" (1984)
Bruce Weitz: Ray in "Hit and Run" (1989)
So go see if you can find these episodes online or buy the DVD’s. Let’s get a dialogue going and spread the word so The Hitchhiker can be rescued from the void of TV land.
Mark Slade, HMS
Read the previous installment.