Monsters (1988-1991) was a series similar to Tales from the Darkside and was even produced by the same company. It may have been created to expand in the syndicated market when Darkside left the airwaves the same year it premiered. While Darkside dabbled in SF and Fantasy, Monsters mostly stayed in the Horror genre. Each episode featured a different monster. The stories could be very gruesome, but one thing Monsters never forgot, its sense of humor. 72 episodes were made, and the show did feature some well-known actors or would eventually be well-known. Here is my Top Ten.
1) MANNIKINS OF HORROR: SEASON 1 EPISODE 23
Dr. Collin (William Prince) is a former surgeon who had a mental breakdown and is incarcerated in an insane asylum. He began hallucinating that his body was coming apart, and in response began obsessively creating anatomically correct clay manikins. Dr. Jarrett (Glynis Barber) befriends him, but Dr. Starr (Brian Brophy) demands that the manikins be taken away for Collin's own good. But the manikins come to life and begin wreaking a horrible vengeance. Dr. Jarrett learns a terrible secret about them in turn.
Directed by Ernest D. Farino. Written by Joseph Anderson, from a story by Robert Bloch (the second story by him adapted for the series). This story was also featured in the British anthology film ASYLUM (another great film by Amicus). Several reasons this is my favorite, for one, it’s written by Robert Bloch, secondly, it’s just a crazy, brutal story.
2) ALL IN A DAY’S WORK: SEASON 1 EPISODE 21
A white witch, Fiona Flynn (Adrienne Barbeau-Escape from New York, The Fog, Creepshow), is consulted by Steven Rose (James Morrison), a professor of ancient history who has unwittingly summoned a doppelgänger from an ancient text. The doppelgänger is trying to take over Rose's life, and Flynn summons a demon named Belphamelech (Eddie Velez) to deal with the doppelgänger. But with Fiona's son, Ian (Brandon Bluhm), in the apartment while the conjuring goes on and Rose unlearned in the magical arts, things start to go wrong. Directed by Allen Coulter (he directed the feature film Hollywoodland-2006). Written by Jule Selbo, from a story by Maureen F. McHugh (using the pseudonym "Michael Galloglach"). I first read this story in the Twilight Zone magazine. Basically the episode stays true to the short story, and it is one of the best in the series. Plus you can never go wrong with Adrienne Barbeau. Well written and well directed by Coulter.
3) THE DIVIDED SELF: SEASON 1 EPISODE 19
Conjoined twins James (David L. Lander-squiggy from Laverne and Shirley and was also comedy partner to Michael McKean) and Robert (Keith MacKechnie) constantly fight with one another. James' girlfriend, Elegy, brings in noted psychiatrist Dr. Blackman (Rich Hall) to help them get along. The Self brothers quickly discover they have a common enemy in Dr. Blackman. The episode is played for laughs rather than horror. Written by Michael Bishop. A hilarious episode that has one hell of an ending, and featuring Rich Hall as a psychiatrist….yeah, you know it’s going to be funny.
4) JAR: SEASON 2 EPISODE 7
Mr. Hallet (Fritz Weaver –Twilight Zone, X-Files, Night Gallery) runs a general store and hotel near a swamp. A private investigator, Jack Bateman (Richard Edson---Eight men out, Stranger than Paradise), is looking for a missing woman last seen at the hotel. He meets beautiful Ann Spiros (Gina Gershon—Bound, Killer Joe) and her loutish but wealthy husband, George (Ed Kovens), and is immediately attracted to her. Hallet is selling monsters he stores in large Mason jars. When released in the light, the creature attacks, kills, and in seconds devours the victim before itself dissolving. Ann uses just such a creature to kill her husband, allowing her and Bateman to have a night of intense passion. But can two unethical people trust one another?
The episode features a film noir look and feel, and a 1940s era blues musical score. Directed by Bette Gordon (her second directorial effort for the series). Written by Peg Haller and Bob Schneider (from a story by Steven W. Davis), their third script for the series. Just a terrific episode that would have fit right in with Tales from the Darkside.
5) LEAVINGS: SEASON 3 EPISODE 17
Officer Mancini (Tony Shalhoub-Wings, Monk) and Officer Parkhurst bring a homeless man with no arms to the Inspector (Clifton James). They report that they have been running into many people, each one missing a different body part. But none of them show signs of surgery, and all of them had these body parts a few days earlier. They also report that they've seen a man seemingly assembled out of mis-matched body parts. Oddly, the Inspector doesn't seem too concerned, and offers to show the two what's really going on. Directed by John Tillinger. Written by Cartoonist Gahan Wilson. Wilson’s animated and comic strips for Playboy are some of the funniest I’ve ever read…and the most gruesome, too.
6) SIN-SOP: SEASON 3 EPISODE 11
In the American South, reporter Laura Daniel meets Helen at the home of a reputed faith healer. They meet Brother Roy; a redneck who claims that he can suck the sin out of you by the gallon—for a price. Brother Roy takes them upstairs to the dead body of "the world's most evil man." When touched, the dead body can literally drain the sin from you, depositing the sin in the form of a black goo in a nearby bucket. But the goo must be permitted to drain away before the "sin-sop" can be used again. Laura is skeptical, but then learns that everything she's been told is the truth. Things go horribly wrong when Larch Lazaar, a psychopathic criminal, arrives at the house and accidentally tests the "sin-sop's" powers. Directed by P. J. Pesce.
7) ONE WOLF’S FAMILY: SEASON 2 EPISODE 17
Greta (Anne Meara-wife and comedy partner to Jerry Stiller) and Victor (Jerry Stiller-Seinfeld) have a daughter, Anya (Amy Stiller), who is about to marry Stanley (Robert Clohessy). The audience learns that this is a family of werewolves. Victor is opposed to his daughter's marriage because Stanley is a were-hyena. Nosy neighbor Mrs. Peabody suspects something is wrong with her new neighbors. Can Stanley save his bride's family? Directed by Alex Zamm. Written by Paul Dini (Batman-the animated series, Creator of Harley Quinn, and writer of a whole host of DC universe animations). Again, there’s that humor the series displayed time after time.
8) ROUSE HIM NOT: SEASON 1 EPISODE 11
Artist Linda McGuire (Laraine Newman-SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE) lives alone in an old house in the country, where she's harassed by local peeping tom Ritzen (Terrence Evans). She's visited by author John Thunston (Alex Cord-AIRWOLF), who is conducting research on a warlock who used to live in the home. But the house and Thunston are both more than they seem. Directed by Mark Shostrom. Written by Michel Parry, based on a story by Manly Wade Wellman. Wellman has to be one of the best American writers, bar-none. His stories about the Appalachian Mountains featuring John the Balladeer is a book that should be in every household. Look him up; even his pulp horror stories are a notch above even the most popular H.P. LOVECRAFT stories. Besides, what’s better than Alex Cord swinging a can-sword?
9) BED AND BOAR: SEASON 2 EPISODE 14
John Dennis (Steve Buscemi-FARGO, RESOVOIR DOGS, MILLER’S CROSSING) is a traveling salesman staying in a sleazy motel. He is disturbed by his neighbors, who appear to be having a horrible fight. He receives a threatening phone call warning him to leave, but then the beautiful Sue Weatherby shows up at his door asking for help. She fought with her husband, and now seeks solace from Dennis. They are attracted to one another, and spend several hours making love. But then Sue's pig-like husband shows up and wants her back. But it's hard to tell who the real monster in the room is. Directed by Sara Driver. Written by David Odell (Who worked with Jim Henson on the Dark Crystal).
10) THE MATCH GAME: SEASON 1 EPISODE 18
Four teens—Paul (Byron Thames), Paul's girlfriend Jodie (Ashley Laurence-HELLRAISER), Matthew (Sasha Jenson), and Matthew's girlfriend Beverly (Tori Spelling-90210, is she really known for anything else except being a producer’s daughter?)—break into an allegedly haunted house one night to tell each other a ghost story. Each person can make up part of the story, but only so long as a match burns. Paul's story seems to be coming true: When he mentions thunder, thunder rumbles; when he mentions the clock striking midnight, the clock in the house chimes. They tell the story of Herbert Waverly, former owner of the house who is hacked up by a jealous husband and thrown into the swamp. In telling their story, they accidentally conjure up a real Herbert Waverly. The kids have to finish the story before Waverly kills them all. Directed by Michael Brandon. All in all a pretty solid episode, and again could have nicely fit in Tales from the Darkside.
There you have it. My Top Ten and I’m not ashamed to admit this show will always be in my Top Fifteen of favorite TV shows. A DVD set has released all 72 episodes by eOne Entertainment on February 25, 2014.
Mark Slade, HMS
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