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A Night of Horror: Nightmare Radio
by Various Directors

I would like to start off by amending a statement I made in a previous review for Scare Package. I said that, like pizza, even mediocre pizza is still good. I forgot about the pizza that you put in the oven and forget about, that pizza that you have managed to turn into charcoal. The inedible pizza. A Night of Horrors: Nightmare Radio comes real close to being inedible pizza. It gets a pass because three of the stories were mint, three of them were okay, and three were just disappointing. Let's break this down and, hopefully, I can do it without spoilers, but consider this a soft spoiler warning, just in case.

I think we'll start with the bad, and being that I've grouped these stories by how good they are, I will be skipping around.

Sadly, the wrap around story falls into the bad category. A mix of Talk Radio and Creepshow, this wrap around is all about late night DJ, Rod. He's the host of the aforementioned Nightmare Radio, a call-in talk radio show where listeners can call Rod and tell him stories and then he responds with some tales of his own. Do people even know what talk radio is anymore? It's like spooky NPR. Anyway, the stories he tells are the segments. His story has a twist ending, but it's not very surprising, I figured it out quickly.

The third story is called A Little Off the Top. It was boring. A hairdresser is angry at a blonde actress because she is selfish and he decides it’s her turn to give back to the public. Honestly, I zoned out.

Finally, we have Drops. This might have been really good, but I couldn't understand it. Not the concept, I got that. It was a metaphor for a tragic incident that happens to our main character, Marta. The screener I received had no subtitles. It was in Italian. I was so lost. The monster looked amazing and the acting was good. If what I'm guessing is the story, then it was powerful, I think. I was just so confused. I had to put it with the bad because I didn't understand the story.

But let's move on to the okay stories. In The Dark Dark Woods is the first story we see. The story was cool. A mysterious woman who is invisible because no light enters her soul and all she is is pure darkness. It was visually stunning, but the writing was pretty terrible. I know they were trying to make the dark the most important element, but after saying “dark” and “darkness” so much, you start to sound like the Swedish Chef.

The next story is The Smiling Man. While it was well made, beautifully shot, and had a great story, it felt really out of place. It wasn't introduced like the other segments, it just kind of happens. The story isn't anything special, it was familiar. I then realized I had seen it on Facebook about four years ago when Crypt TV was posting random shorts. It wasn't a remake of the short either. It was literally the same damn one.

The last out of the okay batch is called Viscous and it was basically the story from Lights Out, but better and from the UK. That's all I have to say about it.

Now, on to the best, which I saved for last.

Post Mortem Mary is one creepy as hell story. I always found post mortem photography so fascinating, being both a photographer and a morbid person. This segment seriously gave me chills. It's the second tale and it's so good. I would watch a feature length film based on this one.

The fourth segment is my favorite. The Disappearance of Willie Bingham is a tale of crime and punishment and how far should a punishment go in the days of privatized prisons. This one is from New Zealand and they know how to do horror. This was spectacular!

Finally, we have Into The Mud. Another foreign language segment with no subtitles. I can hear you now… “but why is this one good and the other in the bad selection,” you ask? Well, it's easy, you don't need to know what was said in the small section that had dialogue. This is all about being chased through the woods with a satisfying, surprise ending to the chase. I was super into it.

To close out my long-winded review for the three people still reading this, A Night of Horror: Nightmare Radio isn't good pizza, but it's not inedible, either. It's like when you microwave a frozen pizza. It's “cooked” and it's “edible,” but after you're done eating it you question your life choices heavily, even though you know you'll microwave another one if the circumstances are right. A Night of Horror: Nightmare Radio is that microwaved pizza, there are good bites, okay bites, and bites that are soggy and gross. Edible… but questionable.

HMS received a screener of this film in exchange for honest review. It is currently available on VOD or DVD.

Robin Thompson, HMS

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