The Horror Show
Eloise
by Robert Legato
I’m generally not a fan of the “let’s raid an insane asylum for some ridiculous reason and then try to make it out alive when ghosts get pissed” subgenre of horror, but I needed something to kill some time the other day while I was cleaning and Eloise popped up. I saw Eliza Dushku in the credits, and, being a fan of hers I thought, “why not?” While I can’t say that I’m completely disappointed with this film, I can say that I’m glad I had something else to give my attention to when things got a bit ridiculous a bit too many times throughout.
Like any other haunted asylum film, Eloise gives us a simple plotline backed by a spooky setting. Jacob (Chace Crawford) has inherited his father’s fortune, but there’s a catch: find his aunt’s death certificate to prove he’s the sole heir. His aunt just happens to have been a patient at the infamous mental institution dubbed Eloise, and to Jacob’s dismay, it’s not going to be easy to prove he’s the last living member of his family.
With the help of his old friend Dell (Brandon T. Jackson) they find a self-proclaimed Eloise expert by the name of Scottie (PJ Byrne). Along with Scott’s sister Pia, played by Dushku, the four set off for what they hope to be a quick breaking and entering session at the old Eloise asylum. We all know how this is about to play out, though, and quite predictably the rest of the film unfolds.
While I’ll say the acting was entertaining and the visuals were impressive, the story didn’t do much for me. As I mentioned earlier, things got a bit jumbly. When timelines of past and present began to intertwine and some dramatic elements were introduced, things went from predictable to downright eyeroll inducing. We learn early on that the head doctor at Eloise Asylum was a sick son of a bitch so I’m not sure if the “big reveal” at the end was supposed to be shocking… I mean to be honest I’m not even sure what the point of the film’s big twist was as nothing was resolved, questions went unanswered, and stories were left untold.
I think Eloise wanted to be a much deeper film, and because of that, there’s a big struggle in being able to enjoy it. Had it just been a massacre in an asylum perhaps I would have enjoyed it much more.
With all the above being said, am I saying that you shouldn’t give Eloise a view? No, I don’t think so. I think that if you happen upon it by chance then you might as well press play and kill some time. Aside from that, I wouldn’t go out of your way.
Stevie Kopas, HMS
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