From The Grave

DARK TALES TOLD
FROM THE SMALL SCREEN

"Man lives in the sunlit world of what he believes to be reality.
But... there is unseen by most, an underworld, a place that is just as real, but not as brightly lit...
...a darkside."


Tales From The Darkside opening narration by Paul Sparer

Growing up in the decades of the 70’s and 80’s has proven a great inspiration for me in more ways than one. Every person feels his or her time period is better than the present or a time period than others. Those who grew up in the 90’s feel the same way about the 2000’s and in the future, kids of the present will feel the same. So you naturally feel entertainment was better in the yesteryear.

Not having cable where I lived and only three networks, a PBS station and two syndicated stations provided a vast resource for entertainment and a lot less commercials (believe it or not). Syndication in the 80’s gave way to a brand new old idea. TV shows that networks wouldn’t touch, couldn’t use, or originally couldn’t find an audience.

In syndication many a TV series went on to become cult classics or infamous (Twilight Zone and Star Trek are names that come to mind). He Haw went on to outlive its network incarnation. Tales from the Darkside (1984-1988) went on to become a horror fan boy’s dream. It was the brainchild of George A. Romero (Night of the living dead, Martin, Dawn of the dead… yeah you know the guy).

After Creepshow came out, and it was a modest hit, the distributors wanted more. The only problem was the Creepshow name was owned by Warner Bros. So Uncle George came up with Tales from the Darkside. He kept the series premise basically the same as Creepshow except it wasn’t confined to comic book horror of E.C. Comics, expanded into SF, Fantasy and of course black humor. With any show of this kind, the FX is an integral part of its genetic makeup, but not the soul of it.

The soul of Darkside is the stories. At the core of that is the short story. Darkside featured some of the best from that time period (word processor of the gods, Enormous radio. Just to name a few.) Romero surrounded himself with loads of talented writers and directors. The FX wasn’t always up to snuff, but they were forgivable. When you work with the great Tom Savini, you always get something special and Tom got to direct a few of these such as “Inside the Closet” and “Reunion”.

The writers, well, some are very famous (Stephen King, Harlan Ellison, John Cheever, Clive Barker and Robert Bloch) others are not known outside the horror genre. I have to give a special shout out to two exquisite writers from the show, Edithe Swenson and Michael McDowell (who I think was the story editor, but I’m not sure.) both of which wrote many of the episodes and a lot of the good ones. It also had one of the creepiest themes (by Donald Rubinstein, the brother of producer Richard P. Rubinstein).

In this article I’m going to name my eleven favorites in no particular order, first doesn’t mean my favorite. That would be too hard.

1) Season 1 Episode 12: IN THE CARDS (1985)
A tarot reader who attracts business by giving out only good predictions finds herself stuck with a new deck of cards — one which makes terrible predictions come true.

This story is brilliant. Adapted from the story by Carole Lucia Satrina and written and directed by Ted Gershuny. It stars reliable Dorothy Lyman (Mama’s family—c’mon, admit it, you’ve watched Mama’s family!!) as the Tarot reader that has the worst luck in all of Psychic-ville. The acting is top notch, and Lyman is definitely the cream of this crop and shows the arc without going too far.

2) Season 1 Episode 10: DJINN, NO CHASER (1985)
A couple finds a lamp which turns out to hold a genie, who is extremely annoyed at being trapped for thousands of years. He punishes them with plagues and problems, but the wife offers a simple solution to his problem. Based on a story by Harlan Ellison and adapted by Haskell Barkin and guest-starring Kareem Abdul-Jabbar.

This episode is just too damn funny. Jabbar isn’t as annoying as you might think and unlike another big man in basketball that played center for the Lakers, you understand Jabbar when he speaks. It also stars comedian Charles Levin (Annie Hall, and he played the rabbi on Seinfeld that accidently snipped Jerry’s thumb during a ceremony involving genital skin removing), and Colleen Camp. You almost believe these two had been married. But the circumstance is so outrageous, it only comes from the mind of Harlan Ellison, it bleeds cynicism and downright hatred of the 1980’s and it was of the present.

3) SEASON 1 EPISODE 4: THE ODDS (1984)
A bookie who never turns down a bet meets the luckiest man he may have known, who is determined to break the bookie at any cost. The bookie ends up wagering on the time of his death.

Written and directed by James Sadwith Adapted from a story by Carole Lucia Satrina and guest-starring Danny Aiello (Do the right thing, Once upon a time in America) and Tom Noonan (Manhunter-he was the first Red Dragon and House of the Devil). Aiello is outstanding in this and as small time hood that never did more than betting, is just great characterization - would live side by side with any one from a Martin Scorsese film. Who in the hell isn’t afraid of Tom Noonan?

4) SEASON 2 EPISODE 19: THE LAST CAR (1986)
A young woman on her way home from college rides the last car of a train and discovers bizarre passengers. It stars Begonya Plaza, Mary Carver, Louis Guss and directed by John Strysik and Written by Michael McDowell.

A very strange episode and for most of it the viewer is baffled. By the end of it, you go ”oh yeahhhhhh!” It’s perfect for the show and may have defined the sort of dark fantasy it would go back to time and time again. McDowell was definitely a superstar of these types of stories which is evident in the films he wrote or co-wrote (Beatlejuice and Nightmare before Christmas) and the books he wrote (Blackwater series).

"Tales from the Darkside (1984-1988) went on to become a horror fan boy’s dream."

5) SEASON 1 EPISODE 9:
A CASE OF THE STUBBORNS (1984)

A backwoods old man refuses to believe he is dead. Written by James Houghton and based on a story by the incredible Robert Bloch. Guest-starring a very young Christian Slater as Jody, Brent Spiner (Data from Star Trek: the next generation) as the Reverend and Eddie Bracken (veteran Hollywood actor) as Grandpa is not only funny in this, but showed off his skill as an actor. A good amount of actors would have been over the top throughout this episode. Of course this would be a story by Robert Bloch, filled with humor concerning a not so funny situation: the death of a grandparent.

6) SEASON 1 EPISODE 19: Levitation (1985)
A teenager goads a once-famous magician into performing his greatest feat of levitation, with disastrous results. Based on a short story by Joseph Payne Brennan and adapted by David Gerrold. Definitely one of the best short stories I have ever read, and Darkside does it justice. Brennan was a poet by trade, and wrote these type of short stories for money. Just think if he had done it full time. I’m sure he would have been one of the highest paid writers in the horror field.

7) SEASON 3 EPISODE 7: HERETIC
A thief sells a stolen painting from the Spanish Inquisition to a wealthy art collector, who soon regrets his purchase when he discovers the world within the painting. It was written by Edithe Swensen. This shows how great Swensen’s scripts were. Dialogue and story together with the ending, I would make the bold decision to place it alongside the scripts of the best Twilight Zone episodes.

8) SEASON 3 EPISODE 13: MILKMAN COMETH (1987)
A milkman (whom no one has ever actually seen) grants wishes to people if they leave him a note with their discarded bottles. Written by Donald Wollner, based on the short story "Temperature Days on Hawthorne Street" by Charles L. Grant. Guest-starring Robert Forster and Chad Allen. A milkman (whom no one has ever actually seen) grants wishes to people if they leave him a note with their discarded bottles.

You have to laugh out loud at this ending. Not because it’s bad, no, because it’s kinda screwed up how far this guy would go to get what he wanted. And who could say that Robert Forrester (Jackie Brown) could ever give a bad performance, even if he was in Lifetime Channel movie.

9) SEASON 4 EPISODE 17: GOING NATIVE (1988)
An alien visitor studies human nature as a photographer. Staring Kim Geist (Brazil) as the alien trying to figure out us silly humans by joining a self-help group. Written and directed by Ted Gershun with a story by Andrew Weiner. This one bothered me when I first saw it. I couldn’t figure out if I liked it or not, but down the years it stuck with me. I came to realize it was a brilliant story. It also showed some pretty self-centered people during a self-centered decade (1980’s). All I can say is it usually takes some pretty screwed up people to drive the weakest individual bananas.

10) SEASON 3 EPISODE 17: EVERYBODY NEEDS A LITTLE LOVE (1987)
A divorced and lonely man talks to and dotes over a mannequin, while his friend begins to get concerned about his mental stability. Based on the short story by Robert Bloch, adapted and directed by John Harrison (as John Sutherland), and guest-starring Jerry Orbach (LAW AND ORDER). Orbach is damned convincing as a drunk, and his reactions to his friend’s advances to the mannequin is hilarious. Okay, so you know I have a soft spot for Robert Bloch stories. Who doesn’t for the writer of PSYCHO?

Number eleven is also a tie between Slippage and The Yattering and Jack.

11) SEASON 1 EPISODE 6: SLIPPAGE (1984)
When graphic designer Rich Hall fails to receive timely news about the outcome of a job interview, he begins to discover that he is slowly ceasing to exist. Directed by Michael Gornick (CREEPSHOW 2) Written by Mark Durand (teleplay), Michael Kube-McDowell (story) Staring David Patrick Kelly (The Warriors and Twin Peaks) , Philip Casnoff, Kerry Armstrong. Actually, there’s more to this story than the description. He ceases to exist because everyone has lost interest in his life. At least that’s what I took away from the episode. Another great script that reminds me so much of the late great Richard Matheson’s work on the Twilight Zone.

SEASON 4 EPISODE 7: THE YATTERING AND JACK (1987)
Happy-go-lucky salesman Jack Polo receives a yuletide visit from the 3.5-foot-tall Yattering, a snarling horned demon that wants to claim Jack's soul. Director by David Odell (writer for Jim Henson—the Muppet Show, Dark Crystal) and Written by Clive Barker (based on the story from his infamous Books of Blood). And you thought I wasn’t going to pick an episode written by Clive Barker! Ha! This was Darkside’s Christmas episode. Funny how that damned demon couldn’t make Jack angry no matter what!

I might note after Darkside went off the air in 1988, Monsters came on the TV airwaves to bring you more great Horror/SF/Dark Fantasy and of course, monsters. Maybe one day I’ll touch on that series too.

There you have it, my top eleven episodes of a great anthology show. It was tough picking my favs because there was so many I really liked. At some point I’ll have to get into Tales from the Darkside movie. But for now...

"The darkside is always there, waiting for us to enter - waiting to enter us. Until next time, try to enjoy the daylight."

Closing narration by Paul Sparer.

Mark Slade, HMS

Read the previous installment.