The Horror Show
Bite School
by James Balsamo
James Balsamo has been hard at work. While most of us were trying to figure out how to live without the potato chips that would require leaving our hammock to retrieve, he has been keeping busy producing multiple films in the indie horror scene. I had previously reviewed his horror/comedy film Cool as Hell, a flick I had a lot of fun with and was eager to check out his other work. Two recent releases have been Bite School and Killer Waves. With both on my watchlist I checked out the former to see if Cool as Hell was a one-time thing or if the work of James Balsamo would be something that I would be consistently into. I got my answer with Bite School. Here's what I thought.
Bite School follows Tony Canoni (writer/director James Balsamo), a wealthy playboy who is 100% certain that he loves being rich. He is as extravagant as can be, living it up and letting everyone around him know how wealthy he is. After a wonderful animated credit sequence, the rug gets pulled out from under Tony, however, when he is cut off from his inheritance. Tony's grandfather (played by the legendary Herschell Gordon Lewis) refuses to so much as take a phone call from him until he goes back to school and gets his GED. Tony isn't a big fan of the idea but is even less enthusiastic about being broke after a life of wealth. His gold-digging girlfriend Cookie (Sarah Martin) has left him and he has no place to stay.
Trying to borrow money from the legion of people he has worked up debts with doesn't go so well and Tony finds himself living with a friend who's in deep with the lesbian mafia and taking night school classes. It isn't all bad, though, as Tony falls for a classmate named Vicky (Mandy Cat Kitana) who seems receptive to his interest. Did I mention she's a vampire and that she lives with a pot-smoking bat named Spat who can talk? No? I figured that would be assumed.
As with James Balsamo's other work, the film is full of diverse and eccentric characters who are just as much what the film is about as the vampires and action. Tony's primary focus is getting his GED and welcoming being rich again all while hooking up with Vicky. But soon, thanks to his association with Vicky, Tony is facing down bloodsucking foes hell-bent on destroying our protagonists.
Bite School is a type of film that is just as much about the small moments as it is the big ones. Don't get me wrong, everything gets more chaotic for the climax, but the characters and humor in the world that James Balsamo has created are the primary source of entertainment. There is no boring element, no background character. Everyone adheres to the zany atmosphere and wacky antics and it all works together to be a lot of fun. This is certainly an installment in the low-budget world, but it's a good one. A lot of ambition and thought was put into the project and it makes all it has going for it shine as brightly as it can.
Sure, not everyone is into ridiculous humor, sex, and blood, but those people usually live in areas where drinking carbonated water is called “Devil bubbles” and is seen as a one-way ticket to hell so it's not worth focusing on too much. Bite School is completely about having fun. It's clear that those involved are having a blast and therefore, so did I. As with other Acid Bath Productions films, Bite School is filled with cameos from figures of the movie and music world alike. Herschell Gordon Lewis is fantastic as Tony's grandfather. And other familiar faces such as Ron Jeremy, Roy Frumkes, Edward Young, John Dugan and Ari Lehman are so much fun to watch.
The music is key, highlighting the more thrilling scenes, and the soundtrack is filled with artist like Iced Earth, Nile, MXPX, Zebrahead and many others. The special effects and makeup, handled by Balsamo himself work perfectly for the project. Balsamo also shows an apt hand at editing as the multiple elements of the film move back and forth nicely. There's a lot going on but it never feels confusing or frustrating. I've always loved movies that make their own world. This doesn't mean that things have to betray the laws of physics or anything like that, but I enjoy films that are filled with characters who are all so out there but at the same time perfectly in place where they are. The events in Bite School, not just the supernatural ones, are all so over the top and insane, but that's exactly what makes them work so well.
James Balsamo puts a lot of himself into his films and I mean that literally as well as figuratively. As the star, Balsamo has a real screen presence and several of the most humorous moments come from him. I don't think it's a case of saving the best lines for himself or hogging the spotlight, Balsamo simply knows exactly what he wants and he is truly the best person to give the performance. Watching him interact with all the other various characters is always fun, keeping the movie going even when the otherwise copious blood, nudity, and monsters are not on the screen. I'm a sucker for clever one-liners and snappy dialogue, and hearing Tony's take on what he's going through is very entertaining.
I've seen enough from James Balsamo at this point to officially be excited for whatever he has up his sleeve. And given the volume and consistency of which Acid Bath Productions are churning out flicks, I shouldn't have to worry about the creativity vein being tapped. There's plenty more to see and I'm looking forward to whatever is to come.
P.J. Griffin, HMS
The Horror Show Menu.