The Horror Show
Pride and Prejudice and Zombies
by Burr Steers
I am not ashamed to admit that I thoroughly enjoyed the film Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter, and while I did not read the book of the same name by Seth Garahame-Smith, I’m sure it was as to be expected: refreshing, witty, and full of vampire killing bad-assery. Naturally when I heard that Pride and Prejudice and Zombies was being made into a film I was pretty stoked, not only because it was going to be a period piece about zombies, but because I assumed that this film would be just as entertaining and refreshing as the Abe Lincoln film.
But you know what they say about assuming things…
This film was literally Pride and Prejudice with zombies. Unlike Abe Lincoln reimagined as a vampire hunter, the idea behind what I will now refer to as PP&Z lacked anything new or fun. Sure, one might think that adding the ever-popular zombie into something instantly makes it appealing, and sure, one might be right about the appealing part. But that doesn’t mean it’s going to be good. In the horror world these days you’ve gotta come at me with something new and exciting, or at least entertaining. But just as I was bored to bits in high school, desperately trying to get through the bland pages of a Jane Austen novel, I was bored to bits during this film and desperately trying to stay awake.
But I guess while I’m writing this I’ll at least explain to you the difference between the original
Zombies. That’s it.
It’s a film about a mother trying to marry off her daughters to wealthy men, and instead of worrying about normal “girl things,” the daughters are expertly trained in fighting and weaponry in order to worry about defending themselves against the undead that are threatening to overtake nineteenth century England while also trying to find husbands.
Okay, breathe, long run-on sentence there, I know… my apologies.
But I sincerely cannot express enough just how boring this movie was. It wasn’t “bad,” no, that’s not what I’m saying. I’m saying that it was boring, and if someone was going to take a dated novel, reimagine it, and turn it into a new novel and film, the least they could have done was attempt to make the female characters more empowered. Sure, you could argue that they have guns, they can fight, and they know how to take care of themselves, but why the hell are the Bennets so damn concerned with falling in love and finding a man when the impending doom of the apocalypse hangs over their head?
The only character in this movie worth mentioning in any detail was Lady Catherine de Bourgh, played by Lena Headey. And even then, I can’t decide if I liked the character because of Lena Headey or because of her wicked eye patch and zombie slaying skills..
Final verdict: watch something else, plain and simple. Go watch Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter. Or anything else, really. Unless you are looking for a sleep aid, then hey, this one’s for you.
Stevie Kopas, HMS
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