The Horror Show
Stitches
by Conor McMahon
Clowns and horror have had a unique relationship throughout the years. From Pennywise to Captain Spaulding to Killer Klowns from Outer Space, the once jolly smiling faces of the big top have evolved into the stuff of nightmares. Stitches keeps up that coulrophobic tradition with an added comedic twist.
Stitches is about a down and out clown, Richard "Stitches" Grindle, who is hired to perform at young Tom's birthday party. Unfortunately for Stitches, Tom's friends are all brats. They pull a prank by tying Stitches’ shoelaces together, inadvertently causing him to fall on a kitchen knife sticking out of the dishwasher, plunging it right through his eye and ultimately killing him. Later, after Stitches’ funeral, Tom follows a group of clown mourners to a crypt where they are performing a secret ritual. When a clown becomes a clown, they paint their clown face on an egg as a sort of register. During the ritual, we see the clowns place Stitches' egg among other painted eggs, also known as the Spiritus Singularum. Tom gets caught by the clowns and the leader tells him “a clown cannot rest if he leaves a party unfinished, and a joke is never funny the second time round.”
Talk about heavy foreshadowing.
Six years later, Tom and his friends are in high school and Tom's parents are out of town. His friends do what any teenagers would do and talk him into throwing a party. When his friend Vinny posts the event online, it goes from a small affair to a complete rager in no time. This awakens one uninvited guest, and he's come back to seek revenge on the kids and finish the party that was cut short years ago.
This is one of my all-time favorite clown-slasher horror movies. It is full of funny one liners delivered perfectly by Stitches, who is played by English comic, Ross Noble. The deaths are very clever, all of them reflecting what the kids did to Stitches at Tom's birthday party. There's even an odd scene where Stitches beats a cat against a wall; it sounds horribly tragic but it's so ridiculous you can't help but laugh. I don't think many actors would have pulled off this role, Ross Noble nails it by being gross, creepy, and hilarious all at once.
The practical effects used in this are just beautiful. Some CGI is used but it's mostly just there for enhancement. Nothing is overly processed to the point that all you notice is the CGI. It's one of the most impressive uses of both practical and CGI I have ever seen in a movie. I wish more modern horror flicks would take note.
Stitches is available to stream on Netflix right now. If you love a little laughter with your murderous clown movies then I would totally suggest this one, hands down.
Robin Thompson, HMS
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